


Skull Joke

by Gotcha



Series: Comic [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Swapfell (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Underfell (Undertale), BlackBerry - Freeform, Cash - Freeform, Comic Sans - Freeform, Edge - Freeform, F/F, F/M, M/M, Papyrus the comedian, Papyrus the great narrator, Reader-Insert, Red - Freeform, Stand-Up Comedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 04:08:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29219262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gotcha/pseuds/Gotcha
Summary: Stand up comedy by the comics and their content is youSwapfell:In which Papyrus is gossiping about his brother and his brother’s datemate. Which makes you and Sans more popular than Papyrus and the two of you don’t have any idea he was doing stand up comedy that was being aired worldwide.Underfell:In which Sans loves to show you off and loves to talk about you to strangers. Now you’re wondering who the fuck are these strangers and why are they trying to follow your footsteps as if you’re an influencer.
Relationships: Papyrus (Swapfell)/Reader, Papyrus (Undertale)/Reader, Papyrus (underfell)/reader, Sans (Swapfell)/Reader, Sans (Underfell)/Reader, Sans (Undertale)/Reader
Series: Comic [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2145315
Comments: 15
Kudos: 81





	1. Swapfell Papyrus (1)

**Author's Note:**

> SWAPFELL VIOLET
> 
> I HAVE AN INSANE AMOUNT OF STORY IDEAS YET I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO CONTINUE THEM BUT LIKE IM STILL POSTING EM THO

got a friend named undyne.

oh? those ooh’s of awe sounds like y’all know her. not hard to since she’s the royal scientist and like the most active introvert in all of social media. she’s a die hard otaku and one of the mistakes i’ve done is that i accidentally walked in on her watching anime. couldn’t yeet myself harder than her faster reflexes to drag me in an anime marathon. i was held captive for three days.

nightmare, i tell you.

that’s why i was so thankful that alphys came around and actually dated the dweeb. now i won’t be bothered to watch ‘em cartoons.

oh, those boos are coming from otakus. youch, watch me lose half of my audience.

anyway.

from the amount of anime i’ve watched. i learned that the first weapon of destruction is seduction.

god, imagine my surprise when we resurfaced and i learned that women with big breasts don’t emit the ‘boing’ sound.

can you blame me tho?!

i was never brave enough to just ask a random human, but i was able to ask my brother’s datemate. so get this, a datemate for a monster is like an equivalent to boyfriend or girlfriend to humans actually it’s more like significant other.

my bro’s datemate is a human and she got a good rack of breasts in her disposal. best part is, she has no sense of personal bubble when you’re her friend. if you’re her friend, you can just grab her boob instead of her hand and she’ll be okay with it. that’s how much she trusts her friends. fucking wicked. with that amount of trust, she could get raped and my bro is trying to teach her boundaries for her sake. unfortunately for him, his words enter from one ear and exits from the other.

since until now she has no sense of humiliation, i gathered enough courage. scooped it all up and ate it. ate it vigorously in waiting for that time. i had enough bravery to ask her, ‘why don’t your boobs go boing?’ and she couldn’t look me in the eye socket for four days because she would burst out laughing every time.

chill chick. chillick. chilickonkarni - just kidding uhh.

oh i heard a wolf whistle amongst the laughs. someone out there has the same single braincell i do - which is actually none. where was i?

my bro’s datemate is a chill chick, but really spicy hot. she’s cool, not as cool as my bro, but cool none the less. and when i meant spicy, well let’s just say she’s got a kick whenever you bite.

i swear if they ever break up, i’m ready to be her rebound.

why are you boo-ing me? if y’all get to meet (y/n), you’ll be thinking that too!


	2. Swapfell Papyrus (2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember. Swapfell Violet. Cash is... a fucking gossiper. Like he lives for the drama.

i have a major disclaimer. i am in no way capable of cooking for other people. to be perfectly honest, all those master kitchen saboteurs out there cannot hold a candle to me. i can’t even cook for myself, but i’m a hundred percent magic so who the fuck cares. i’m still alive and kicking. 

but with how sans reacted to (y/n) when she cooked breakfast for herself on morning, it’s suddenly like sans dubbed her as the god of all kitchen saboteur. 

that morning, she was in a total predicament. asking me for second opinions about eating breakfast or letting herself starve. and of course, i dutifully replied like the good younger brother i was. ‘i’m gonna tell sans you didn’t eat.’ 

don’t put me in such a predicament, darling! i can’t choose for myself, how the fuck do i choose for you?

(y/n) said that she had poor culinary skills. and i scoffed cuz like, hello? who am i then? a fucking standing lampshade?

she tried to even reason that she was a dorm refugee. fucking refugee, she said? is college that much of a war to y’all? cuz i got my phd.

ah yes, i love this praise and hoots of cheers. you’re doing a great job in stroking my ego. anyway...

back to the story. apparently in her dorm, she got a microwave and that’s it. (y/n) lived off of microwaved instant noodles and oatmeal out of it. at first i didn’t think much of it, since it was the past, but i lost my nonexistent mind when she had some instant noodles floating in semi-hot water in a bowl and popped it in the microwave when there’s a perfectly good stove right next to her. 

she just said she has no clue how to open the stove. and i was pointing with all of my phalanges at myself. i am the summoner of hellfire. i have the power of satan’s wrath at my beck and call with just a flick of my wrist. i can open the floodgates of scorching flames if she so wished. how did she not think of me when she looks at the stove? i have unwittingly spoke out loud ‘how do you live?’

and she just waved to the microwave. 


	3. Swapfell Papyrus (3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy valentines day
> 
> From :  
> Reader’s Brother

the time had finally come. the time in which my efforts were finally recognized. what efforts am i talking about? well! the very efforts for being the best cockblocker in the whole galaxy.

i was doing what i normally do on a shitday which was just lounging around in the dining room and sleeping on the table. cuz fuck it, sans isn’t home to berate me from that. i woke up to a call, from (y/n) herself. but i wasn’t fast enough to answer it. so i left her a message wondering what was up. and she suddenly asked “what do you do whenever you thirdwheel me and sans?” 

while she was in obvious predicament, i felt like i was a wise advisor to royalty. i was savoring this moment. but i had to know the context. when i questioned about it, she explained that she’s currently in the room with her brother and his girlfriend. apparently they’re spending their valentine’s day at home with video games and junk food.

i suggested her what i would usually do when i thirdwheel them. i told her to steal her brother’s food. because of course, a man can’t argue in front of their datemate. well no matter who is in front of sans, bar the queen, he would give me a piece of his mind if they so much as embarrass him in front of (y/n). but this is (y/n)’s brother we’re talking about and even he can’t go against her. 

i wanted to know why she needed to be with her brother if they’re at home anyway. and she dutifully replied saying she’s currently in the role of what i usually do when i’m with them. being the cockblocker but not because she wanted to but apparently she was forced by their mother. 

(y/n) suddenly said out of nowhere, “don’t worry dude i enjoy having you around and i am not planning to have kids soon. i also am not planning to be an aunt who will most likely help with the stupid brother who doesn’t know how to take care of himself much less a child of their own.”

i’m like “lol same ngl.”


	4. Swapfell Papyrus (4)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation to chapter 3 on a different day

remember the time i told you about (y/n) asking cockblocking tips from me?

well, fuck. her mom is updated with comic videos in social media. she is now hounding me to stop cockblocking because even though she doesn’t want her son to have kids, she’s expecting her eldest daughter to grant her the title of grandmother. 

under my bucketlist, the ‘asked by someone else to permit sans to have sex under the same roof i live in’ is crossed out. 

how the fuck would i permit sans to put a damn demon inside his datemate if she herself doesn’t want it? sorry to break it to you mother-in-law, but your daughter is a witch and your son is now responsible to continue the bloodline. (y/n) shall do everything in her power to not conceive even if its by accident.

well there ain’t any accidental pregnancy with monsters. 

watch (y/n) make her own mother as a surrogate mother. “ma give me a child, i’ll take care of it anyway.”

i don’t doubt (y/n) would make a great mother. she’s actually a good older sibling. even if my age compared to hers is like the first forefather against their great times a hundred descendant. her nature... i mean, once an older sibling, always an older sibling amiright?


	5. Underfell Sans (1)

all of the people with masculine roles, or like the dominant in the relationship may have tendencies to be quite the... gentleman. like they want their women to be modest for some fucking reason i can’t understand. dudes want their datemates to not wear revealing shirts or short shorts.

i cannot for the life of me relate to this.

i can’t. i will die if i cover up my datemate.

what the actual fuck?

i had my girl wear this shirt the other day. to be perfectly honest, it wasn’t a shirt anymore cuz it had more holes than it had clothing material. it was this fishnet shirt right? cuz she was showing off to me her new sports bra. i absolutely loved it aight, loved it so much i wanted to see her show off them bra. loved it so much i dragged her out of the fucking house and wanted to show off to alphys since even if that dinosaur of a woman has bigger breasts than my (y/n), at least she can pull off them fishnet and sports bra better than undyne could.

i also loved it so much i wanted my girl to strut em beauty to the world while we were fucking walking to our friends’ house.

but then this stranger just came up and hollered, “cover her up, you monster!” then other men started to say their own pieces as if i gave any piece of shit to them and their stupid opinions. “you shouldn’t have let her leave the house like that.” and “you should go back now and make her change.”

and i have collected enough anger from myself that could rival (y/n)’s negative emotions and even blow its flame out. dude what the actual fuck? she’s my girl, first and foremost. second, she can wear whatever she’d like. even if it’s revealing clothes because we both know who she’s dressing up for and that would obviously be me.

there would be perverts, i’m a bit of a pervert myself but only when it comes to (y/n). i can easily take em out of the equation. i did not, however, take into account, human gentlemen.


End file.
